Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
