summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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