She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
