first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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