Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
