Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am puke
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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