i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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