I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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