I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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