On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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