You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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