that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
