Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
