discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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