Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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