im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
