just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
