y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
