Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
