come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
