Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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