shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
