I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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