everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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