i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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