only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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