someone threw a dead crab at me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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