i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
