The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
