Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
