We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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