it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
