Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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