Someone shit on the floor
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
