Me. At least after what I've been through.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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