you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
