just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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