i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
