I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
