I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
