I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i think my cat just said my name.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
