I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
