I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
