I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
