You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
