he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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