but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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