Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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