I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need a beard to bite.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
