first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
